eating out with others

Breakfast bagel spots. Lunch with co-workers. Late night dinners. 24-hour diners. Weekend brunch. Friends visiting from out of town. Get togethers with the usual crowd. Making new friends on Bumble BFF. MeetUp groups. Dating. This past week I’ve had farm-to-table American—trout and veggies (Wm Farmer & Sons), Korean bulgogi and seafood pancakes (Cho Dang Gol), Chinese dry hot pot (Mala House), Italian pizza and cacio e pepe (Vic’s), Japanese hand rolls (Nami Nori), and Nepalese momos (Momo Crave). And you know what? None of those meals I had alone. And all of them cut into my budget way more than I should allow.

New York City has options. Great options. Every cuisine under the sun. As I get older, it’s harder to make new friends and to keep existing connections strong since everyone is always so busy, but I try. And usually it all happens over food. But it certainly isn’t cheap. Any advice column about budgeting will mention cutting back on eating out as one of the strategies, because eating out is substantially more expensive than cooking for yourself. Especially in New York, because everything costs—the food itself, the service, the workers, the rent. Unlike in Asia, there’s no getting a 10-kuai ($1.50) bowl of noodles here. So yeah, eating out is a luxury and I’ve been splurging, but eating out is also a social activity which isn’t as easy to replicate at home unless you’re a good/adventurous cook (and I’m not) and are comfortable having people over (I only invite close friends).

Some people find cooking relaxing, but it’s always been a chore for me. Work is also stressful at the moment, so having people to talk to, eating good food, trying new things, and not having to cook myself is part of my self care. And as long as I balance the eating out with eating in, and don’t get in the habit of eating out all the time, I’ll be fine. I’m fortunate enough to be able to splurge once in a while, and while my bank account is taking a bit of a hit this summer, as long as I keep the big picture in mind and reign myself in when necessary, I’ll be just fine. Come winter I’ll probably turn into a hermit anyway.

Lox Sandwich & Iced Coffee – Semicolon

Semicolon Cafe
516a 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10016
Murray Hill
https://semicoloncafe.com

Smoked Salmon Toast – Esme

Esme
999 Manhattan Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11222
Greenpoint
https://www.esmebk.com

Double Cheeseburger with Sweet Potato Fries – The Gem Saloon

The Gem Saloon
375 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10016
Murray Hill
https://www.thegemsaloonnyc.com

Sausage Gravy Smothered Chicken – Jacob’s Pickles

Jacob’s Pickles
509 Amsterdam Avenue, New York, NY 10024
Upper West Side
https://www.jacobspickles.com

Temaki “Create Your Own” Set – Nami Nori

Nami Nori
33 Carmine Street, New York, NY 10014
West Village
https://naminori.nyc

keeping my kitchen clean

I am three months behind on my timesheets. The last few weeks (months?) have been busy at work. Because there’s a lot of work to do. Although I do have a team, we have different roles and responsibilities, so for the most part I act as a team of one. Yay me. (Despite what may sound like complaining, I do like what I do, which is why I still do it.)

When things get busy at work, some life stuff tends to fall off the to-do list. And while some people may consider eating a priority, I’ve always been more of a “eat to live” rather than “live to eat” person, and when I’m busy or stressed, I’m more of a “forget to eat” rather than “stress eat” person. So I wasn’t eating regularly. So I tried Factor. (This is by no means an ad or sponsored post, but if you do want to try it, you can click here.)

In the past I’ve tried Blue Apron, but I didn’t like it because of all the waste (all the packaging) and the fact that it still required a fair bit of time and prep. I can cook, but I’m not good at it and I don’t particularly enjoy it, so meal kits like Blue Apron only reduced the shopping time and the meal planning, and in the end didn’t feel worth it. So anyhow, I got a coupon to try Factor (I think it was included in a package I had ordered) so I figured, why not? It’s also a meal kit, but they’re premade meals that are basically glorified TV dinners (although fresh not frozen), so it seemed like a good life-sustaining option with high convenience factor. The packaging doesn’t feel as wasteful either, since the cardboard sleeves and plastic trays are recyclable.

I opted for ten meals a week, and it is pricey—without discount it works out to about $13 a meal, which isn’t ridiculous (given that I’m in New York and takeout can also be pretty pricey), but it’s certainly no comparison to cooking for myself. The Factor food, however, is rather tasty, good flavor and texture. Even though the dishes can be a bit hit or miss, I’ve finished all of them and they’re better than what I usually cook for myself. I might reduce the number of meals per week, which would raise the per unit cost, but we’ll see. Another concern is the reliability of their shipping. My first shipment arrived fine. The second shipment was sent to the wrong building.

What I find kind of … uncomfortable? … is how much I like the service. I don’t know why I tend to guilt myself over things like this, but I’m trying to get over it. Part of me is like: “Uh, seriously, you can’t even make your own food? Are you really that lazy? Just throwing away money like that?” And the other part of me is like: “Hey you’ve probably eaten more calories this past week with Factor than the week prior. You’re saving yourself so much time and aggravation by having someone else feed you. And you can afford it, so what’s the big deal?” I’m probably Factor’s target demographic—single professional who can’t really cook but is trying to eat healthy—and based on how well these meal kit companies are doing, I guess there’s a lot of us. That’s comforting, but it’s also kind of a sad statement for society that there are so many of us who are so busily working that we have basically lost the ability to properly feed ourselves. Eh. Oh well. I’m being fed, so I guess that’s good.

fall is nyc’s best season

There is a decided chill in the air and voila … summer is definitely over. Yay! Fall is a breath of fresh air—literally and figuratively. Summer in the city certainly has its benefits, but after a while … all that humidity and hot trash smell and ugh … it just starts to get to you. So now that I can finally turn off my very noisy air conditioner, and either rely on the breeze through my window or *gasp* not even open the window without boiling to death, it’s a welcome moment. Very welcome.

Yay to spending significant periods of time outdoors! Outdoor brunch! Outdoor stroll! Exploring Central Park without wanting to stab myself in the eye (or escape extremely quickly)! But alas, fall in New York City is pretty short-lived and it’s already starting to turn just a tad too cold. My plants outside are no longer doing so well and the beans will probably need to get pulled in the next few weeks if this weather keeps up. Hopefully I can at least get a few radishes and greens before frost. And I’ll be sure to enjoy the nice fall weather while I can!

update. this is now.

It has been a year since I last posted, and two years since I last posted regularly. And you know what? I almost feel guilty saying it, but I haven’t had a bad pandemic. People have lost their jobs, the world went/is going through a global crisis, Russia invaded Ukraine … but in my middle-class white-collar life? It’s been okay. And … it’s a bit surreal, but it’s actually been okay. I’m not saying this to brag. I know the world is different now. I acknowledge that I live a relatively privileged bubbled life. But this is my truth, and my truth isn’t all that bad, nor is it all that unique. And I can’t help feeling a bit guilty about that even though I know I’ve done nothing wrong.

I’m just saying that for a fairly large segment of the US population, of which I belong, there were challenges and strifes, but … at the end of the day, they were manageable. I didn’t lose my job; I was able to get a higher paying job. I didn’t lose shelter; I was able to live and work pretty comfortably in my place. I didn’t lose any family members; I gained a few—a cat (see photo below) and a niece. In fact, although I’ve had a few friends and multiple co-workers who got COVID, none of my family members or I have ever tested positive. Despite the travel advisories, I’ve traveled internationally twice and domestically multiple times. I don’t know what it is. It just is what it is.

So yes, life is different in March 2023 than it was March 2021, when shit hit the fan and what I thought would be one or two weeks of work from home became something so much different. But I’m also not going to pass value judgements on how much worse the world is now, because I don’t think that serves any purpose. The world is different, and the world is always going to be different from one day to the next, from one crisis to the next. And it’s cliché how often people say it, but we are getting to a “new normal.” It is what it is. It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it just is. And goodness knows I know that sounds pretentious as heck, but that’s how I approach it, how I stay sane. Nothing I say or do will change that larger picture. But at the same time, I’m not going to tell anyone to “get over it,” because people have had real challenges that need to be acknowledged. Just don’t worry about me. Because even if it seems like I’ve fallen off the face of this earth, chances are, I’ll be okay.

NOTE: For anyone wondering, I was able to find a new home for Earl where he has a companion cat to help him socialize, and he has been doing well. My new cat (who I adopted in June) is an older cat who is used to being an only cat, is lazy as heck, sheds like heck, and coughs up hairballs like heck, but who I adore.

the new moynihan train hall

So if you’re in New York (and not living under a rock), you’ve probably heard of a spiffy new thing called the Moynihan Train Hall which opened at the beginning of 2021. And yes, it is nice. But … it’s not really all that unless you’re an Amtrak or LIRR train rider—and I’m not. (I’m more likely to take a bus rather than Amtrak because I’m cheap.) However, even though its existence doesn’t really impact my life, I think it’s great. Definitely more befitting of New York City than Penn Station.

Moynihan Train Hall, February 2021

What a lot of people misunderstand is that the Moynihan Train Hall is not a new station; essentially it’s an extension of the much-reviled and much-in-need-of-renovations Penn Station. Moynihan is not a new stop and doesn’t impact the trains, though it does improve the hospitality/circulation aspect by creating new entry/access points to some of the platforms and providing new waiting spaces and (eventually) retail and a food hall. It’s hard to find fault with the nice open space and the really beautiful skylight (which was still partially covered with snow from the crazy snowstorm we had). I’m sure in normal times the place would’ve been hopping, but alas, there’s less travel due to the pandemic.

I remember visiting the James A. Farley Building when there was just the post office, back in 2012 during my first adventure in New York, and my reaction was: Wow this is a ridiculously nice post office. I mean … woah. It’s a really nice post office. And fear not, the post office is still there! It is landmarked after all. It’s just that the building is now split between the post office and the Moynihan Train Hall.

James A. Farley Post Office, April 2012

Now this is architecture that the city can be proud of! Not some of those ridiculous skyscrapers popping up. I mean seriously? SOM, the firm that designed the Moynihan Train Hall, is also designing an absolute monstrosity called The Commodore. Ick.

chilly chily april weather

What a great start to spring, eh? Technically the first day of spring was a few weeks ago on March 20, but if you’ve been in the Northeast, you’d never’ve guessed it. On the first day of April, the weather was beautiful (only a light jacket required). On the second day of April, it snowed (winter coat and snow boots). Since then, the weather’s ranged from the 30s to upper 50s, but it’s expected to hit 75F this weekend.

I know it’s boring to complain about the weather. I know it’s pointless to complain about something that no one has any control over. But it’s so frustrating! Mostly because I keep putting things away (like coats, sweaters, boots) only to have to take them out again, and my tomato plants are getting bigger and are starting to crowd me out of my own apartment.

possible union strike

I’ve lived in New York for over four years, so I feel like I know the city pretty well in the way that I have strong opinions on bagel shops and can rattle off subway routes and hate Times Square with a passion. But there are still quite a few signs that I’m not from the city—things that I’ve never experienced, that blow my mind and somewhat terrify me. One of those things? A union strike.

WHAT?!

Apparently my building’s staff (which amounts to less than a dozen people) have their own union. I didn’t know that. And apparently (according to a three-page letter every resident got from the management company today), that union might go on strike in a few weeks. The letter described what would happen in case of a strike: They’ll hire a security guard and we’ll all be issued security passes. Residents will volunteer to man the front desk. The trash compactor chute will be closed, so we’ll have to take trash out to the curb ourselves. And we can only receive deliveries if we’re home and able to collect it from the lobby (which basically means no one’s getting packages, unless they trek over to the distribution center).

So … um … WHAT?!

I don’t want to live in a building where the staff is on strike! That sounds totally unsafe and kind of scary, like a cross between being on lockdown (with guards out front and a single bottleneck entry point), and squatting somewhere (basic infrastructure but no services). I’d have to cross a picket line just to go home? As for what the issues are and why a strike is being threatened, I have no idea. Not a Scooby-Doo. But now I really, really want to know what’s going on.

two hands, warm coffee

I always get an Americano. Anytime I go to a new restaurant or new coffee shop, I always look over the menu and mull over the options. But at this point in my life, I know what I like, and at New York prices, I’m not going to risk my limited funds on something not good. So yes, more often than not, I’m sticking with the good ol’ standbys. In coffee terms, that means an Americano (black) or a simple drip coffee (black).

Since I am in New York, where culinary options (and options in general) reign supreme, I will sometimes order outside my comfort zone, but generally only if it’s a specialty of the establishment or comes with a good recommendation from a friend or someone who knows my tastes. I’m just not one to experiment with my food. And after all, how can I properly compare two restaurants if I’m not getting a burger at both? It’d be unfair to compare a rib-eye steak with a salad (especially since I don’t like salad).

Two Hands Café
164 Mott Street
(between Broome and Grand Streets)
NoLiTa, New York, NY

blue apron v. being green

Wanna try Blue Apron?

I’ve turned downright domestic. Dear self, what was your Friday night like? Oh, nothing much, just cooked. And baked. And vacuumed. And did laundry. And re-potted my tomato plant. And planted green onions. And built a rocking chair. No joke.

Stop me now.

So. My sister gave me one of those free trials for Blue Apron, and I was like: Cool, I’ll sign up! No grocery shopping! No lugging heavy bags ! I can try new recipes! I’ll eat healthier! And it was pretty cool. The food is good, I learned new things, tried new things, and all was well.

I stuck with it for a bit, but now I’m planning to cancel the service. Why? Because Blue Apron is an extravagance. I’m not so busy that I can’t go to the grocery store, veggies and meat are far cheaper elsewhere, and there are a million and a half recipes on the world wide web. And Blue Apron’s excessive packaging drives me nuts. So much packaging! Oy. Of course the cardboard and all those plastic containers can be recycled, but you know what’s better than recycling? Not having it in the first place. Plus, that Nordic Ice gel stuff that does a great job keeping the meat cold? Blue Apron’s instructions for disposal are to empty the gel into the trash, which just makes me feel all cringe-y inside. It’s nice that everything is so well packaged to keep the food fresh (although many a tomato has been found squashed at the bottom of a package), but it’s truly excessive. No thank you. I’ll go to the grocery store.

Over the years I’ve become more eco-conscious, although I’m still a far cry from a tree-hugger. Living in the big city where there’s lots and lots of people and lots and lots of concrete, I value the environment so much more than when I was growing up, where space and fresh air were aplenty. Have you ever stood on a black asphalt street on a sweltering New York summer day and smelled the *lovely* in-your-face smell of hot piles of trash, oozing with rotting food? Yeah … well, enough of those days and you’ll start thinking that everyone needs to waste less, recycle more, and compost more. And why not? You can’t possibly be that busy not to.

eclipse revelation: what the heck am i doing?

On Monday, the moon covered the sun. Here in New York there was no full eclipse, no moment of complete darkness. As I was busily working away in the office, the world out the window seemed same ol’ same ol’. But a bunch of colleagues went to hang out on the street outside, so I joined them. And I put on a pair of those special glasses. And I saw the eclipse, the partial 71% that we got. And it looked like darkness and fire. And all I could think was: wow. Wow. And then I thought: What the heck am I doing? Was my careful editing of that marketing text really so important that I was almost going to miss the FREAKING ECLIPSE?

Some days, days like these days, I wonder: What the heck am I doing? I’ve always tended towards apathy, but it’s getting ridiculous. In a span of six years, I moved from Texas to Shanghai to New York back to Shanghai and back to New York again, all in the search of new challenges. And now? The standard answer is that I’m in New York because I love New York (and I do), and that it’s the best mix of homey Texas and chaotic Shanghai (and it is), but being in New York also means that I don’t have to anything outstanding, because there’s so much going on already that it’s easy to just go with the flow. New York means I can use words like ‘adulting’, wear nice clothes at my nice job, have a glass (or three) at French wine bars, blend with all the other aimless millennials, let all my ambitions and plans slowly fade away, and pretend that I’m right where I ought to be.

But what happened to all that other stuff? Have I *gasp* settled? No more. I’m going to revive this poor little blog. I’m going to take up freelance work. I’m going to get back into creating, shaping, thinking, writing, discussing, learning, and being out there. I’m going to be me again … the me I want to be. That’s what I’m going to do. So thank you moon, for blocking out the sun. It truly was amazing.

(Note: That’s not to say I’m going to give up wine and stop being occasionally superficial … I still am a millennial after all.)