eating out with others

Breakfast bagel spots. Lunch with co-workers. Late night dinners. 24-hour diners. Weekend brunch. Friends visiting from out of town. Get togethers with the usual crowd. Making new friends on Bumble BFF. MeetUp groups. Dating. This past week I’ve had farm-to-table American—trout and veggies (Wm Farmer & Sons), Korean bulgogi and seafood pancakes (Cho Dang Gol), Chinese dry hot pot (Mala House), Italian pizza and cacio e pepe (Vic’s), Japanese hand rolls (Nami Nori), and Nepalese momos (Momo Crave). And you know what? None of those meals I had alone. And all of them cut into my budget way more than I should allow.

New York City has options. Great options. Every cuisine under the sun. As I get older, it’s harder to make new friends and to keep existing connections strong since everyone is always so busy, but I try. And usually it all happens over food. But it certainly isn’t cheap. Any advice column about budgeting will mention cutting back on eating out as one of the strategies, because eating out is substantially more expensive than cooking for yourself. Especially in New York, because everything costs—the food itself, the service, the workers, the rent. Unlike in Asia, there’s no getting a 10-kuai ($1.50) bowl of noodles here. So yeah, eating out is a luxury and I’ve been splurging, but eating out is also a social activity which isn’t as easy to replicate at home unless you’re a good/adventurous cook (and I’m not) and are comfortable having people over (I only invite close friends).

Some people find cooking relaxing, but it’s always been a chore for me. Work is also stressful at the moment, so having people to talk to, eating good food, trying new things, and not having to cook myself is part of my self care. And as long as I balance the eating out with eating in, and don’t get in the habit of eating out all the time, I’ll be fine. I’m fortunate enough to be able to splurge once in a while, and while my bank account is taking a bit of a hit this summer, as long as I keep the big picture in mind and reign myself in when necessary, I’ll be just fine. Come winter I’ll probably turn into a hermit anyway.

Lox Sandwich & Iced Coffee – Semicolon

Semicolon Cafe
516a 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10016
Murray Hill
https://semicoloncafe.com

Smoked Salmon Toast – Esme

Esme
999 Manhattan Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11222
Greenpoint
https://www.esmebk.com

Double Cheeseburger with Sweet Potato Fries – The Gem Saloon

The Gem Saloon
375 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10016
Murray Hill
https://www.thegemsaloonnyc.com

Sausage Gravy Smothered Chicken – Jacob’s Pickles

Jacob’s Pickles
509 Amsterdam Avenue, New York, NY 10024
Upper West Side
https://www.jacobspickles.com

Temaki “Create Your Own” Set – Nami Nori

Nami Nori
33 Carmine Street, New York, NY 10014
West Village
https://naminori.nyc

keeping my kitchen clean

I am three months behind on my timesheets. The last few weeks (months?) have been busy at work. Because there’s a lot of work to do. Although I do have a team, we have different roles and responsibilities, so for the most part I act as a team of one. Yay me. (Despite what may sound like complaining, I do like what I do, which is why I still do it.)

When things get busy at work, some life stuff tends to fall off the to-do list. And while some people may consider eating a priority, I’ve always been more of a “eat to live” rather than “live to eat” person, and when I’m busy or stressed, I’m more of a “forget to eat” rather than “stress eat” person. So I wasn’t eating regularly. So I tried Factor. (This is by no means an ad or sponsored post, but if you do want to try it, you can click here.)

In the past I’ve tried Blue Apron, but I didn’t like it because of all the waste (all the packaging) and the fact that it still required a fair bit of time and prep. I can cook, but I’m not good at it and I don’t particularly enjoy it, so meal kits like Blue Apron only reduced the shopping time and the meal planning, and in the end didn’t feel worth it. So anyhow, I got a coupon to try Factor (I think it was included in a package I had ordered) so I figured, why not? It’s also a meal kit, but they’re premade meals that are basically glorified TV dinners (although fresh not frozen), so it seemed like a good life-sustaining option with high convenience factor. The packaging doesn’t feel as wasteful either, since the cardboard sleeves and plastic trays are recyclable.

I opted for ten meals a week, and it is pricey—without discount it works out to about $13 a meal, which isn’t ridiculous (given that I’m in New York and takeout can also be pretty pricey), but it’s certainly no comparison to cooking for myself. The Factor food, however, is rather tasty, good flavor and texture. Even though the dishes can be a bit hit or miss, I’ve finished all of them and they’re better than what I usually cook for myself. I might reduce the number of meals per week, which would raise the per unit cost, but we’ll see. Another concern is the reliability of their shipping. My first shipment arrived fine. The second shipment was sent to the wrong building.

What I find kind of … uncomfortable? … is how much I like the service. I don’t know why I tend to guilt myself over things like this, but I’m trying to get over it. Part of me is like: “Uh, seriously, you can’t even make your own food? Are you really that lazy? Just throwing away money like that?” And the other part of me is like: “Hey you’ve probably eaten more calories this past week with Factor than the week prior. You’re saving yourself so much time and aggravation by having someone else feed you. And you can afford it, so what’s the big deal?” I’m probably Factor’s target demographic—single professional who can’t really cook but is trying to eat healthy—and based on how well these meal kit companies are doing, I guess there’s a lot of us. That’s comforting, but it’s also kind of a sad statement for society that there are so many of us who are so busily working that we have basically lost the ability to properly feed ourselves. Eh. Oh well. I’m being fed, so I guess that’s good.

fall is nyc’s best season

There is a decided chill in the air and voila … summer is definitely over. Yay! Fall is a breath of fresh air—literally and figuratively. Summer in the city certainly has its benefits, but after a while … all that humidity and hot trash smell and ugh … it just starts to get to you. So now that I can finally turn off my very noisy air conditioner, and either rely on the breeze through my window or *gasp* not even open the window without boiling to death, it’s a welcome moment. Very welcome.

Yay to spending significant periods of time outdoors! Outdoor brunch! Outdoor stroll! Exploring Central Park without wanting to stab myself in the eye (or escape extremely quickly)! But alas, fall in New York City is pretty short-lived and it’s already starting to turn just a tad too cold. My plants outside are no longer doing so well and the beans will probably need to get pulled in the next few weeks if this weather keeps up. Hopefully I can at least get a few radishes and greens before frost. And I’ll be sure to enjoy the nice fall weather while I can!

somehow I’ve become a crochet person

Amazing how your hobbies come to define you. Way back when I was an undergraduate, I taught myself to crochet by watching YouTube videos. And now? I’m a legit crocheter.

In my last semester of college, I was finishing my degrees and only taking classes part-time, but most of my friends were on a different degree path and busy in studio. So I had a lot of alone time. I had two part-time jobs, was doing a lot of baking and crafting, and at some point was looking for a new challenge. In terms of textile/fiber crafts, my mom taught me to sew when I was young, I was cross-stitching, weaving, and latch hooking by elementary/middle school, and took a fiber arts class in high school, where I learned embroidery. But even though my mother is a knitter, I never got the hang of it. So what possessed me to learn crochet? I can’t remember. Must’ve been boredom.

And here’s the thing. After I learned the basic stitches and made some trivets, I graduated and didn’t crochet for a loooooong time—a hiatus of something like six years. Then at some point I picked it up again and it became a proper hobby, accelerated by 1) having a stable income with which I could splurge on yarn, 2) having the time and wanting a task while watching television, and 3) the discovery of Ravelry and the r/crochet subreddit. Then the pandemic happened, I had a lot of alone time, and the crocheting went into overdrive.

Now I comfortably use “frog” as a verb, regularly purchase hundreds of dollars worth of yarn at a time, and am running out of friends/family to gift crocheted items to. So yeah. Somehow I adopted crocheting and it’s now my primary hobby.

For the above blanket, I used the Kinlough Aran Afghan pattern, a J crochet hook, five skeins of Caron One Pound in Dove, and a heck of a lot of time. It was completed in just over a month during evenings and weekends, and gifted to a friend for her wedding.

the new york brunch @ penelope

I’m trying to get back into the swing of regularly posting, but keep getting stalled when working on the longer posts, so here’s a quick one just to get me in the swing of things:

New York. Summer. Sunday. Brunch! It’s a thing. Especially when it’s “al fresco” a.k.a. outside. But … the sidewalk ain’t the most glamorous location for brunch. The street sheds that popped up during the pandemic are sticking around, so on the plus side, there’s a more seating options and usually less wait, as long as you don’t mind people constantly passing by. Now, if you haven’t heard of Penelope, it’s a pretty popular brunch spot in the city. Nothing super fancy, just solid classic American food. I pass by it regularly and it’s always pretty busy, especially weekend mornings when I’m usually headed to the grocery store, but this was the first time I actually ate there.

I had a blueberry lemonade—nice and refreshing!—and the croque madame—good, but on the heavy side. To be fair, the croque madame probably wasn’t my best choice considering I’m lactose intolerant (even though I had pills with me), I generally don’t eat much in the morning, and it was a bit warm out, so my appetite was a bit dampened. But I took half of it home and polished off those leftovers the next day. The service was good but a bit slow, which was understandable since it was a busy Sunday morning and it looked like there was only one server in our area (which was probably like eight tables). All in all, I’ll definitely return to Penelope, but next time I’ll opt for inside (to get a proper vibe of the place, to eat in peace, and for air conditioning) and I’d try one of their signature bowls … or maybe the blueberry pancakes. Mmm …

Penelope
159 Lexington Avenue
(at East 30th Street)
Murray Hill, New York, NY

update. this is now.

It has been a year since I last posted, and two years since I last posted regularly. And you know what? I almost feel guilty saying it, but I haven’t had a bad pandemic. People have lost their jobs, the world went/is going through a global crisis, Russia invaded Ukraine … but in my middle-class white-collar life? It’s been okay. And … it’s a bit surreal, but it’s actually been okay. I’m not saying this to brag. I know the world is different now. I acknowledge that I live a relatively privileged bubbled life. But this is my truth, and my truth isn’t all that bad, nor is it all that unique. And I can’t help feeling a bit guilty about that even though I know I’ve done nothing wrong.

I’m just saying that for a fairly large segment of the US population, of which I belong, there were challenges and strifes, but … at the end of the day, they were manageable. I didn’t lose my job; I was able to get a higher paying job. I didn’t lose shelter; I was able to live and work pretty comfortably in my place. I didn’t lose any family members; I gained a few—a cat (see photo below) and a niece. In fact, although I’ve had a few friends and multiple co-workers who got COVID, none of my family members or I have ever tested positive. Despite the travel advisories, I’ve traveled internationally twice and domestically multiple times. I don’t know what it is. It just is what it is.

So yes, life is different in March 2023 than it was March 2021, when shit hit the fan and what I thought would be one or two weeks of work from home became something so much different. But I’m also not going to pass value judgements on how much worse the world is now, because I don’t think that serves any purpose. The world is different, and the world is always going to be different from one day to the next, from one crisis to the next. And it’s cliché how often people say it, but we are getting to a “new normal.” It is what it is. It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it just is. And goodness knows I know that sounds pretentious as heck, but that’s how I approach it, how I stay sane. Nothing I say or do will change that larger picture. But at the same time, I’m not going to tell anyone to “get over it,” because people have had real challenges that need to be acknowledged. Just don’t worry about me. Because even if it seems like I’ve fallen off the face of this earth, chances are, I’ll be okay.

NOTE: For anyone wondering, I was able to find a new home for Earl where he has a companion cat to help him socialize, and he has been doing well. My new cat (who I adopted in June) is an older cat who is used to being an only cat, is lazy as heck, sheds like heck, and coughs up hairballs like heck, but who I adore.

eating. korean fried chicken sandwich

I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Between work (my team is understaffed), the cat (the cat is still with me for the time being), and the apartment (they’re doing construction on the building), I’ve been super stressed. And when I’m stressed, I tend to … not eat. Partially because I forget to eat, partially because I can’t be bothered to cook, and partially because anything I do make is not great.

So, in a bid to stimulate my appetite (and not continue to starve myself), I stopped by Shake Shack while I was out picking up more cat food for Earl. They’ve been doing some specials, so I shook up my normal order and tried their Korean-style fried chicken sandwich. White kimchi slaw and Gochuchang-glazed crispy chicken breast. Tasty.

Is it a sandwich worth the $9? Probably not. But did I finish it all? Yes. So … still a win? The chicken with the glaze was really nice, but the piece was so thick that the middle was a bit dry without the sauce. And pieces of the slaw were long which made it a bit difficult to eat in sandwich form. Overall tasty, but I probably won’t order it again.

The main question: Did it succeed in stimulating my appetite? Not really. Shake Shack was yesterday. Today I had … half a bagel, a quarter of a frittata, and a bowl of ice cream. Not great, but better than nothing. Basically I just need a vacation before I do more damage to myself. I don’t know.

the start and end of cat ownership

Since I last posted, I adopted and have decided to surrender a cat. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for a number of reasons, starting with the most obvious and lingering one: failure.

I adopted Earl the last weekend of February. On a Monday, I saw his posting on PetFinder and that night, I sent in an application to the rescue organization. That same evening, I received a call from the adoption coordinator. The following day I had a Facetime conversation with the foster and got a peek at him. He seemed shy but calm, was just sitting in the corner while the foster attempted to play with him using a feather wand. I agreed to adopt him and paid the fee. I was just so excited to become a cat parent. Other organizations had long lists of requirements and were slow in getting back to me, whereas this rescue was very quick (which I now view suspiciously). On a chilly and drizzly Sunday, my friend rented a Zipcar and drove me out to the foster’s location, and I took him home. So in the span of less than a week, I was approved and became a cat owner.

Ever since, it’s been rough.

I was told that he was rescued from the streets just days prior to my application, but I wasn’t prepared for what that meant. When I took him home on Sunday, I had my bathroom all set up for him. Once I opened the carrier, he promptly bolted from it and splayed up the wall in the far corner of the bathroom while hissing at me. I gave him his space. That night he fled my bathroom (it was probably a bit too chilly for him), and took up residence under my sofa, yowled most of the night, and peed on my sofa. The next night he peed on the other side of my sofa before he got the hang of the litter box. A few days later, an extremely sleep-deprived and anxious me took him to the vet and ended up with shards of glass on my kitchen floor (from a glass he knocked off the counter) and some cat scratches on my arm from the process of wrestling him into the carrier. The vet was surprised that the rescue gave a fresh-off-the-streets cat to a newbie cat owner like me, and informed me that he was healthy but extremely petrified and would likely take a few months to open up and get used to the indoor life and human companionship. I think both Earl and I were traumatized from the whole experience, and we probably began feeding off of each other’s anxiety.

After having Earl for about two weeks, seeking advice from friends and family, and crying in front of (or on the phone with) multiple people (the vet was a bit concerned to see me getting teary-eyed), I decided that the situation wasn’t healthy for either of us. Yesterday I wrote to the rescue organization and let them know that I wanted to surrender him. I volunteered to keep taking care of him up through the end of March, to give them time to find a new owner without having to resort to an intermediary foster situation. They were understanding and thanked me for giving them the time. I sent them a new bio and a few photos, and he has been relisted.

As I write this now, he remains in hiding. I only ever see him when I crouch down to check if he’s still alive. He alternates between under the sofa and the bottom cubby of a cat tree—out of sight and out of reach—and only comes out at night, once I’m safely tucked away in my room. Sometimes when I work late and am still up at 2, 3 in the morning, he’ll peek his head out to eat, but will bolt back into hiding if I show any movement. I have seen some signs of improvement over the past two weeks, in that he doesn’t yowl so much at night, but that’s about it.

I say all of this in part to assuage my guilt. I’ve done a lot of crying and agonizing over the decision to surrender him, but at the end of the day, I think this is the only one that makes sense. I’ve been assured that surrendering him isn’t a sign of failure on my part, that sometimes it just doesn’t work out, but it still feels like failure. I hope he finds a new home with a more experienced cat parent who can give him the months of support he will likely need. This was not how I pictured my adventure into cat ownership going, but that’s unfortunately how it is.

the new moynihan train hall

So if you’re in New York (and not living under a rock), you’ve probably heard of a spiffy new thing called the Moynihan Train Hall which opened at the beginning of 2021. And yes, it is nice. But … it’s not really all that unless you’re an Amtrak or LIRR train rider—and I’m not. (I’m more likely to take a bus rather than Amtrak because I’m cheap.) However, even though its existence doesn’t really impact my life, I think it’s great. Definitely more befitting of New York City than Penn Station.

Moynihan Train Hall, February 2021

What a lot of people misunderstand is that the Moynihan Train Hall is not a new station; essentially it’s an extension of the much-reviled and much-in-need-of-renovations Penn Station. Moynihan is not a new stop and doesn’t impact the trains, though it does improve the hospitality/circulation aspect by creating new entry/access points to some of the platforms and providing new waiting spaces and (eventually) retail and a food hall. It’s hard to find fault with the nice open space and the really beautiful skylight (which was still partially covered with snow from the crazy snowstorm we had). I’m sure in normal times the place would’ve been hopping, but alas, there’s less travel due to the pandemic.

I remember visiting the James A. Farley Building when there was just the post office, back in 2012 during my first adventure in New York, and my reaction was: Wow this is a ridiculously nice post office. I mean … woah. It’s a really nice post office. And fear not, the post office is still there! It is landmarked after all. It’s just that the building is now split between the post office and the Moynihan Train Hall.

James A. Farley Post Office, April 2012

Now this is architecture that the city can be proud of! Not some of those ridiculous skyscrapers popping up. I mean seriously? SOM, the firm that designed the Moynihan Train Hall, is also designing an absolute monstrosity called The Commodore. Ick.

magic milk straws

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning at home, and I found these Milk Magic Straws that I bought … a few years ago? I had gone to Economy Candy with a friend visiting from out of town, and she pointed them out. Since I had never heard of them before, I bought them. And then forgot about them.

Then I found them. And tried them. And ya know what? They’re pretty fun … at least in the few minutes that they lasted. The Chocolate Peanut Butter flavor was yummy, added a nice hint of flavor to the milk, but if I really wanted flavored milk, there are probably powders out there that would impart more flavor. Nice little novelty straws and a fun surprise finding them while cleaning, but I’ll be returning to my regularly scheduled programming of plain white lactose-free milk.